I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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