it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
