Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
