grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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