we'll go far in life on tits alone.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
