Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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