Have you finally orgasmed yet?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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