What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
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