she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I fill condoms, not promises.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
