wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
