wat bout pragnant strippers??
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
