Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
