We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
