If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
