dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
