I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
