so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
