Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My vagina just recognized that song.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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