sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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