Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
