Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
