Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
