New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
