How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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