is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
