I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
