Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
