It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
