brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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