I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize