things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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