I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
