every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
