Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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