omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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