I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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