I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
