He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
