apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
