so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
