im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
