FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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