so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
