Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
