the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
