this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
