I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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