All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
