chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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