Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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