Nicole vs. Life
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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