Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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