I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
