my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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