here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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