Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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