That's intense
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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